I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
where does the pee come out of this thing
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
