im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
