I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
