Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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