i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
