I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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