This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
