We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Houston, we have a squirter
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
