Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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