ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
