we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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