he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
