Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
