I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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