ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How external is "for external use only"?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
