plz talk dirty to me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
