I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
