Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
