What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They took my balls.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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