Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
