This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
