The beer is more important than you right now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
