So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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