The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
