U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
