Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
