garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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