One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
