WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
