every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
