So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
