Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
