Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
