That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
