I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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