Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
