so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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