you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
