So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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