She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
