I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
