I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
