He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
