I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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