I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
