question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
