ugly people sure do ruin things
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
