don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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