The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
