help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
