If that was your dad, he is hot
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
