She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
