im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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