Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
