Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Im part way to drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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