You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
