remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
